Next gatherings: Schuyler Bailar, “Trans Inclusion, Radical Body Acceptance, and Mental Health,” Nov 5, Port 393, Holland, 7pm (6pm book signing), buy tickets; Nov 6, Fountain Street Church, Grand Rapids, 7pm (6pm book signing), buy tickets

Please share the information for our next events, in Holland and Grand Rapids, with Schuyler Bailar, and please purchase tickets if you plan to attend either event.

Schuyler Bailar, the first openly transgender athlete in Division 1 athletics, will be our guest in Holland on Thursday, Nov 5 and in Grand Rapids on Friday, Nov 6. You will love Schuyler. You will be inspired by him, and you will learn so much from him.

Here is Schuyler helping a pastor understand gender-affirming care in minors.

In Holland, we can accommodate 250 people at Port 393. I’m asking everyone to buy tickets, which you can purchase ($10) on Eventbrite by clicking here.

In Grand Rapids, we can accommodate 100 people at Fountain Street Church. Fountain Street is allowing us to use their chapel for free as we try out Still Processing in GR. We are hopeful that we can expand to GR in 2027. I’m also asking people to “buy” the free tickets for the GR event since space is limited. You can do so here.

Regardless of how long Still Processing lasts, I am so proud of what we have done and what we are becoming. Thank you for being a part of this. I am so grateful.

Here is a brief introduction to Cait’s story.

I hope to see you tomorrow night.

Schuyler Bailar, the first openly transgender athlete in Division 1 athletics, will be our guest in Holland on Thursday, Nov 5 and in Grand Rapids on Friday, Nov 6. You will love Schuyler. You will be inspired by him, and you will learn so much from him.

In Holland, we can accommodate 250 people at Port 393. I’m asking everyone to buy tickets, which you can purchase ($10) on Eventbrite by clicking here.

In Grand Rapids, we can accommodate 100 people at Fountain Street Church. Fountain Street is allowing us to use their chapel for free as we try out Still Processing in GR. We are hopeful that we can expand to GR in 2027. I’m also asking people to “buy” the free tickets for the GR event since space is limited. You can do so here.

Stop giving away your freedom

to be,

to wonder,

to explore,

to play,

to experiment.

Stop sitting in the bathwater of religion desperately searching for a baby. There is no baby.

Draw your own bath.

I’m dead serious.

Live your life. Be free.

The bathwater of Christianity (and Judaism and Islam and Hinduism and on and on) is filthy. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but we have to be serious now. It’s filthy, but for some notable exceptions. But those exceptions do not prove the rule. They’re just exceptions.

Jesus is worth a look, no doubt. You can learn from his teachings.

But you can also ignore them entirely, if you want. Honestly. You don’t have to follow or admire or study or love Jesus of Nazareth to live a life rich in love, joy, connection, pain, grief, loss.

You never have to think about god, Jesus, the prophets, the Psalms, Paul (may I never, ever care about this man and his teachings ever again), Revelation (the idea of taking this book seriously is inconceivable), Noah’s Ark (people are seriously trying to find it, like wtf1 do you even mean), the holy spirit, any of it, ever again. If you want.

You might just be better for it.

No politician, no pastor, no influencer, no podcaster, no streamer, no singer, no professor, no religion, no ideology, no god, nothing, not a single thing in this whole meaningless universe gets to tell you how to live your life. You must accept that burden, that freedom.2

I know it sounds scary, maybe reckless, to embrace the fact that you can live whatever life that you want. But you owe it to yourself, and to all of us, to try.

We need as many free spirits and rebels as we can find.

When I went to Cait’s website to get some information about her biography, I was surprised and delighted to see this quote from Maya Angelou featured: “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Why was I surprised? This quote also appears in Britt Hartley’s No Nonsense Spirituality, and I mentioned it in the gathering with Britt.

Here is how Cait describes escaping Christian Patriarchy.

When I left home at the age of twenty-five, I had no idea what my path would look like. I had no story to tell. I had spent my entire life in the Christian Patriarchy and Stay-at-Home-Daughter Movements, only to realize that I didn’t belong. My story had always been written for me, and now I was taking over the pen for the first time.

I used to think I could rewrite my whole life, come clean somehow, and pretend I never had a past of oppression and abuse. I didn’t want to be the victim, the pitied, the weak. But the years have taught me that there is no easy way to delete bitter memories or old scars. I can’t separate the good from the bad. So, I’m moving forward, not chained to the past, but liberated from it, carrying with me the old stories, if only as a preface to the new.

I hope you will come and hear Cait’s story. Yes, parts of her story will sadden you, maybe enrage you. But her story will also inspire and encourage you.

I am also passing along your nonreligious blessing for making it through the week. Ramen Halloumi, everyone!

“Is there really a baby in this bathwater?”

Liberal Christians and others are constantly worrying about throwing out the baby with the bathwater. I can’t find the baby.

My Tiktok feed, my podcast feed, my Substack feed, my Audible book list, my own intuitions are all telling me the same thing: Christianity is destructive, abusive, delusional.

James Dobson was an awful man. I see no reason for any caveats. He prescribed child abuse. He prescribed conversion therapy for LGBTQ+ individuals. ChatGPT gave me this list of terrible things Dobson advocated. (I wrote this months ago, and have stopped using ChatGPT since)

Why did Christians listen to this awful man? Why do Christians support, even valorize, abusive men? After all that was uncovered about sexual abuse in the Catholic church, it’s incredible that men are still allowed to be priests. But of course it’s so much worse than that. Only men are allowed to be priests.

Why do we continue to make excuses for a religion that has brought us such awful men, such awful “morality”?

Can it really be true that all of this destruction, all of this abuse, all of these lies, all of this racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, supremacy, hierarchy, ignorance (about science, about history, about sexuality, about gender)—is it really true that all of this is a perversion of the Bible, of Christianity? Are you sure?

When have the majority of Christians in the United States been on the front lines of societal progress? When have the majority of American Christians stood up for a marginalized group?

Were the majority of Christians opposed to slavery? Did the majority of Christians support the women’s rights movement? Did the majority of Christians support the Civil Rights Movement?

Were Christians on the front lines with those who were caring for those suffering and dying from AIDS? The truth is that it was the lesbian community that stepped up to care for gay men dying of AIDS, just like Renee and Rebecca Good were doing for their marginalized neighbors in Minneapolis.

Did Christians stand up for workers when Ronald Reagan was destroying unions? When Bill and Hillary Clinton were trying to create universal health care in the United States, did the majority of Christians support that?

When the Bush administration was selling the war in Iraq, were the majority of Christians against the war? When we started torturing people, holding detainees in indefinite detention (some of them are still there), kidnapping men and taking them to unknown locations where they were tortured, were the majority of Christians against that?

When the Obama administration was trying to reform our health care system so that people could afford basic coverage, were the majority of Christians for that? As mass shootings increased, including the mass killing of elementary students in Newton, did the majority of Christians rise up to support restrictions on guns? Do you believe that a majority of Christians would give up their guns to protect our children from gun violence?

What about same-sex marriage? Did same-sex marriage become a right in the United States because the Christian community demanded it? Do you think that transgender individuals are safer in a Christian family or in an atheist family?

Do the majority of Christians support feminism? Do they want to live in a society where men and women share power? Do a majority of Christians believe that women are as capable of leadership as men are?

Somehow, in 2026, 64% of women and 55% of men said that abortion should be legal in all/most cases. And yet women lost their constitutional right to abortion. Who led the charge to strip women of this right?

Climate collapse is here. It’s happening before our very eyes. Do you think that greater church attendance leads to more understanding of humanity’s role in ruining the planet, or less understanding?

And now, as immigrants, and people who look like immigrants, and people who protest, are being terrorized, beaten, killed by the United States government, is this happening against the wishes of the majority of Christians? They literally voted for Trump because he promised to do this.

Israel has spent three years mass murdering, maiming, raping, torturing, and starving Palestinians. The Israeli Defense Force has reduced their homes, hospitals, schools, mosques, churches, farms to rubble. American Christians had the power to stop all of this. They didn’t.

I could go on and on and on.

More Christianity (more Islam, more Judaism, more Hinduism, etc) can only bring us more delusion, more destruction, more oppression, more division. There is nothing here to salvage. It’s time to move on.

Cait West, our next guest, wrote this incredible memoir: Rift: A Memoir of Breaking Away from Christian Patriarchy. She also appeared in Kristin Du Mez’s short documentary on sexual abuse and control in the Protestant church. She is an inspiration.

Last Thursday’s Still Processing was incredible. It was honest. It was profound. It was real. I’ll never forget it. You will love it, because you will love Britt Hartley.

I highly recommend her first book, No Nonsense Spirituality: All the Tools, No Faith Required, as well as her upcoming book (March 2027), Everything is Stupid, the World is on Fire, and Nothing Matter: A Nihilist Survival Guide.

In our time together, Britt referenced and explained a viral TikTok that she made. Here it is.

Please click here and get a ticket (they are free), if you plan to attend.

I have ten books (signed by Britt, of course) to sell on Thursday ($20). You can always buy it yourself after the event.

Britt Hartley’s work on secular spirituality is exactly what many people are need right now. She has done and continues to do the creative work of reimagining a spirituality that utilizes all of the good tools that humanity has created or discovered: awe, ritual, science, relationship, connection, psychedelics, meditation, family traditions, nature, and much more. If you are looking for practical and profound wisdom for a life of meaning and purpose (and honesty and justice and goodness), Britt Hartley can help you.

Finally, Britt is powerful, unapologetic advocate for women, for the wisdom and goodness of the feminine. It’s wonderful. I’ve learned so much from her.

I hope to see you on Thursday night!

P.S. I am trying to accept this wisdom.

Please click here and get a ticket (they are free), if you plan to attend.

I have shown you some of Britt’s more provocative takes over the years. She has shown a fearlessness in her work that I deeply admire. But Britt is also consistently kind, compassionate, and humble. You will love her. And she has so much to teach us about the importance of spirituality. Because even outside of religion, we need spirituality.

Please help me get out the word on this event. This event is free and open to the public.

This is the Eventbrite listing: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/no-nonsense-spirituality-with-britt-hartley-tickets-2000190302037

One of the most important voices for me over the last fewyears, a voice of wisdom, courage and honesty, has been Britt Hartley. I initially encountered her on TikTok, an app that I thought was just for giggles. Britt was ahead of me on the deconstruction journey, and it hadn’t been easy for her. After leaving religion (initially Mormonism, and then Christianity) for good, Britt had gone through a period of nihilism, a time when she couldn’t find meaning or purpose in life. She persisted, eventually leading her to write a book (No Nonsense Spirituality: All the Tools, No Faith Required) and to build a big following on TikTok (818k followers).

Britt tells her story (briefly) in this way: “Hello! My story is that I was raised Mormon and had a Mormon faith crisis. I became a Christian and went to theology school to understand Christianity and the Bible better. I ended up losing my faith in theology school, which is more common than you’d think, as I was preparing to write my dissertation. While some aspects of leaving religion were freeing, many aspects were difficult for me, and I went through a period of existential crisis and nihilism. Secular spirituality and philosophy (getting tools and resources for human needs without belief required) helped me build a meaningful, connected, and even spiritual life outside of religion. Now I continue to explore tools that were once housed under religion or spirituality, wipe off the dogma and truth claims, and use them for human thriving for myself and others. I make no claims about ultimate reality and do not claim to be a guru; I only share tools that help with existential needs and fears regardless of what is true about the universe.”

This is one of her most recent TikToks. She is helping us imagine a better world.

Twenty-five years after 9/11, anti-Muslim sentiment appears to be as bad or worse than it was after 9/11, primarily amongst Republicans.

And the way that Zohran Mamdani (and Abdul El-Sayed and many other Muslims) has been treated by conservatives is appalling. Here is the latest manufactured outrage.

Sarah Leach and I will discuss this and much more tomorrow night! I hope you will join us.

Journalist Sarah Leach is a careful observer of local and state politics. I have my eye on national and international politics. Together, we have a good sense of the political scene as we head into “the most consequential election of our lifetime” yet again.

How do we feel about polling? Can we trust it at all?

Trump’s approval is low and he is not on the ballot. Will that lead to big margins for Democrats? Is the MAGA coalition breaking?

Tucker Carlson seems to be leading the populist right. He opposes Israel. He opposes the war with Iran. I’m hearing more support for universal health care from the Bulwark crowd (never Trump Republicans). Is a truly populist right emerging?

Israel is playing a major role in Michigan politics and national politics. Where is this all heading and how will it affect the 2026 midterms? What is going on with Hillary Scholten and her support of Israel?

If Democrats win control of the House and the Senate, what should they do with that power?

We will cover all of this and more. Join us next Tuesday!

Our souls have taken a beating for the last few years, hell, for the last decade. At Still Processing we have tried to be honest, hopeful, and resilient. It hasn’t been easy. Tomorrow night, Matthew will show us how the little things point to the goodness of humanity. Stories like this help me, and maybe you too, believe in us humans.

You are going to love Matthew. If you are looking for some honesty and some hope and some goodness, come to Still Processing next week Thursday. It will be worth it. It will be life-giving.

Matthew Eicheldinger was a middle school teacher in Minnesota for fifteen years. He is also a multiple New York Times, USA Today, and Publishers Weekly bestselling author, storyteller, and educator with a passion for creativity, education, and inspiring others through compelling narratives.

Matthew is, quite clearly, a good person, a kind person, and a thoughtful person.

In my correspondence with Matthew about the gathering, he wrote, “I think what I would love to focus on is the positivity I see within education systems during my travels… I am not adverse to talking about hard topics, but definitely want attendees to leave feeling lighter than when they came in.”

It’s a beautiful sentiment, one that I very much share. But frankly, Matthew is better at positivity and lightness than I am. And I’m so grateful for that. I’ve been moved by his writing, his storytelling. It’s been good for my soul.

Here’s is his most recent TikTok.

We used clips from the two Bulwark podcasts listed below. You can also read this article that Julia Curlee wrote for the Atlantic.

The Bulwark

Julia Curlee and Errin Haines: Cowards Are Running This Country

When Trump came back into power, his administration leaned heavily on former CIA analyst Julia Curlee to help safeguard our national security. The first CIA officer to transition openly, Curlee had worked at the highest levels in the White House for years. But once her gender identity became public through a witch hunt, she was hounded out. Curlee talks with Tim about the chaos of Trump’s slash-and-burn firings, the administration’s demonizing of trans people, and how Mike Pence treated her with dignity and respect when she was his personal briefer. Plus: The 19th’s Errin Haines joins to discuss the Florida primaries, the Dems’ prospects in the South, the real backlash against the…

Listen now

2 months ago · 850 likes · 240 comments · Tim Miller

This one is for Subsribers only, I believe.

The Bulwark

Is Jon Ossoff the One We’ve Been Waiting For?

Sarah and JVL did a BIG show today. Sample awesome…

Listen now

2 months ago · 2079 likes · 937 comments · Jonathan V. Last and Sarah Longwell

Much thanks to Angela for her important work, and for coming to Holland to share it with us. We had a wonderful conversation.

At one point, Angela mentioned seeing a TikTok that I made about Jesus and Mamdani, which went viral.

“Canadian Christians frustrated with the Church have come ‘Undone’ and are leaving politely, almost apologetically, in what this book dubs a Quiet Deconstruction. Blessed are the Undone asks: what aspects of faith are being questioned, and why?

This book neither condemns nor condones the trend of those deconstructing their faith. It seeks to describe and document the Canadian ‘deconstructing faith’ scene while also providing a theological and sociological frame through which to understand it.”

Angela Bick is a Canadian journalist who has been following and studying faith deconstruction in Canada, and the United States. I’m excited to talk with Angela about her work.

I am skeptical of Christianity’s ability to change; Angela is more hopeful. Bring your thoughts and questions.

Here’s a clip from her book.

So I obviously had the phone pointed too far down, but that only affects things at the very end. Apologies. I decided to get a closer shot, and didn’t doublecheck it.

My dad and I had a wonderful conversation. I hope you enjoy it.

And finally, here is a definition of atheism that resonates with me right now.